I cut the line

I gave up today. Just couldn't do it anymore. Enough of the pep talk everyday that I give myself. Can't live with the stress anymore. Will just look for something else. Before this all lead to more health problems for me. Sigh.

I do feel a little lousy for giving up but for the sanity of my own mind, I will do it. Not that I didn't give myself many chances but I can't seem to relax. Wasn't able to sleep last night too..and I still woke up at 5 am as usual. Sucks. I fear going in to work even. Don't like that feeling. Not good for the soul.

So will be looking for a job. Shouldn't be too difficult I hope.

Dipping over

STRESS STRESS STRESS!!!!!!

Yes its that bad. I have not been able to sleep much ever since I started on the floor. Not that I don't wanna sleep but its more like I can't really sleep. Its the half awake sleep where I know my brain is active and I am aware of what's happening. Sigh..trying to talk myself out of feeling so stressed up. Must remind myself its ok. If I can't pass out of SVC then so be it.

Sigh sigh sigh....

I cried yesterday cause I felt so horribly stressed out. Its not so much the calls but the adherance we have to meet. There's a dashboard that keeps track of everything. Trying to shorten my handling time and after call handling. So freaking tough...Some zones I am still in red while others are in yellow.... must be green green. Then it will be good. Most of everyone else is feeling as stressed as me. Shitty...

Anyways, I am really going to remember not to overstress myself. Its ok I tell myself. The most is find another job lor if cannot make it.

Ok anyways, will be going to take a bath n rest some... knowing I can't sleep and all.... My eyes are like nice and swollen most of the time..I need the weekend.... Need to escape..

Hell ride

Its been a helluva roller coaster ride. To be honest, I am still a little shaky but much better compared to the first day I stepped onto the platform.

I have started taking live calls and boy its scary. Its scary cause of all the unknown factors. You have no idea what the customer wants or needs till you take the calls. The inumerable other factors we have to watch out for. Those I won't bore you with. But anyone working in the banking sector will know what I am talking about.

I have been feeling highly stressed out and feeling very low on confidence. But each step I take is getting a little better. Learning how to breathe. Perhaps I over worry cause of all the fatal errors that can happen. "A" has been encouraging me. He can see people well I must say. I didn't realise that he knew what I was feeling till I told him how I truly felt just now.

For many days, there were times where I felt like crying. The first day was like tt at a point. I caught a bug from my dad and my throat started hurting like mad on sat night after I woke up from a nap. Dam!! It was bad throat pain. Started on one side and progressed to both sides. It got so bad tt on Sunday night I couldn't sleep unless I took pain killers. Body aching too. Sucky... Anyways, MC on Monday.

Went back to work on Tuesday. Back on roller coaster.

Its been tough I must say and many moments I felt like giving up. Just so much unknowns and learning how to toggle everything. But I keep telling myself, I cannot be tt stupid. If the others on the floor can master it, why can't I. Its always the toughest at the beginning. I will make it I tell myself. I must make it. I will gain confidence slowly. I WILL DO IT!!!

Yeps.

Am feeling better today. Tomorrow's Friday and then its the long holidays.

Here's wishing you all a Prosperous New Year!!! Its CNY again. ;-)