Long days

Days without Mathias is tough. A heavy cross to be carried. One I wish would never have happened. I miss my baby so much. I only cry once in awhile. I have good days n bad days. Bad days are really bad. Sometimes i feel like lying there and not doing anything. Takes too much effort to get going even. But i wake up early everyday. Can't sleep too late either. My body doesn't allow me rest. I feel tired all the time. I wish to see him now. Enfold him in my arms once again. But i know its not to be. Trudging along till the day I get to see him again.