It all makes sense now

I thank God for small mercies. I am now certain of my F-up judgement. This is the first time I use this word here and it will be the last. I have just realised how stupid I have been. And I mean really stupid. I can only say that after finding out the truth and I mean the truth. It has set me free in a sense. But I cannot deny the pain and shock at finding out the truth at last. I never thought I would to told the truth. But as can be seen nothing remains hidden for long no matter how hard you try to hide it. I fully and truly understand it now. I am really stupid.

Time to appreciate what I have and the one who really loves me for who I am. I am jus content that God has been terribly kind to me and allowed small mercies like this.

I feel like crying bad. But I will not. There isn't a point to it at all. I loved him and that is all. It happened and nothing can change that. He deceived me and I went along with it. I don't blame him. Its a lesson learnt. I just thank "A's" patience with me. He is a gem. A real gem.

I feel so cold. My heart is so cold......