Dreams are weird stuff

I can't seem to stop this from happening each time. It happens when I am sleeping and happily dreaming away. I do not consciously think about it. It just pops up. I feel so helpless to stop it from happening. "B" always seem to pop up in my dream. The dreams are always so vivid. It scares me truth be told. I have no idea why it happens. Loose ends untied or its just me being me. Perhaps its just cause of him being there at my lowest point and he was kinda like a very personal confidante. So it seems kinda weird that its like that now. I have no idea. But its freaking me out. The dreams are pretty frequent. I wish it would stop. That would give me some peace of mind. I need that.

I'm not being unfair to "A" right? I hope I am not. Its not a conscious decision and "A" is very important to me. So yea....

I have yet to buy him his belated birthday dinner. I so wanna do it. But I think I will freeze out like the last round. Smack me. Sigh. When did I become so self conscious. Bloody! I need to face this and get around this obstacle. Maybe that's why I keep dreaming of him. I bet he is not at all affected by this and I am the only stupid one wallowing in this murk I made. Sometimes I just can't stand myself.

On another note. I made more earrings. I feel happy just doing that. In the event I dun manage to sell them online. Who's interested in selling stuff at a flea mart with me? That'll be fun. Hehe...

Planning on more designs. Okies. Gotta be going. Got tons of other stuff to do.