Life is pretty much good for me. I am happy where I am now. Happy with my current job although there are times where I can't stand the politics. My relationship with "A" is also good. Really looking forward to planning for the rest of our lives together. Actually am just waiting for him to pluck up courage to ask my dad for permission.

To be honest, I never expected myself to be where I am now. Looking back, its a far cry from what I felt before. I had lost all hope in "Love". I had no expectations of finding let alone allowing myself to try loving someone again. To love means to learn to trust that someone. Which I couldn't do. Not after going through all that pain.

I surprise myself or maybe its "A" that surprised me. People who have met him see a guy thats nice and quiet. But only myself really know the person he is. He is not as quiet as you think he is. He is quiet when he listens to me. He lends his advice when he knows I need it. He is unobtrusive. He walked with me when I wasn't interested. He was just there quietly and patiently worming his way into my heart. Mmm, actually let me take that back. Was he really patient?? Dropping hints all the time. Haha. Well anyways, he was a good companion and one that made me feel comfortable. I felt I could be myself with him. There was no need for pretensions. He on the other hand, proved to me slowly that I could place my trust in Him. Through his actions and silence. I am amazed by his generosity at times. To my family, my friends and even to me. I am happy I took that chance with him. Instead of allowing myself to sink deeper into that trap I laid for myself.

Now what I need to do is to somehow find a way back to Church. I have not lost God but have lost the battle in staying with a parish. All I can say is that people complex things. And I somehow just don't wanna handle it. That is the thing that bothers me most. Other than that, I am pleasantly happy.